The Attack on the Biology of Humanity

This video on InfoWars.com i found extremely interesting and it answered a lot of these questions i had. Mainly about transgenders. I've watched a few videos on YouTube about transgenders and it confused me that 3 year old boys wanted to be girls.

But there are chemicals everywhere that attack your natural hormones and alters them. This video mainly talks about men and how feminine the men are becoming because of the mutation of food and how it lowers testosterone levels and increases estrogen levels. Just check out the young folks walking around nowadays. Justin Biebers everywhere.

One thing you got to know about me is that i research a lot of things about The One World Order, the Illuminati, and conspiracies.
Call be a conspiracy theorist or a Truther but all i do is analyze the facts and think critically. I choose to be informed rather than stick my head in the sand and pretend that the Governments truly care about people.

InfoWars is an excellent source to find out more about what's happening in the world.

The reason why i'm so passionate about this even though most of it is happening in America is because America is so powerful and has so much influence on the rest of the world and so what happens to America will eventually impact the rest of the world.

Our health is extremely important ... that's a given but stay away from all GMO, BPA and eat healthy. Stay away from fast food and oily crap that's full of artificial colourants/flavourants and a massive amount of excess sugar. You're body needs good healthy fuel not crap that just drags it down.

I don't eat fast food (last time i had it was about a year ago) and i try my best to stay away from all artificial food. Once you start eating clean and natural and you try and eat crap again you feel the difference. The reason why i don't eat most sugary sweets is because when i do i feel lethargic and i can't concentrate, i just want to sleep. Does your body really need that?
 No!

Honour the body God has given you.

Words Kill

I feel like i'm going to burst!

Some people just don't understand the importance of words. Even if you're joking, the words you speak can slowly kill some one else. Every time you say a negative thing a part of that person wilts away. 

At least that's how i feel. And it seems like everyday that happens. But lately it seems to happen more often. Why? Don't know.

Growing up my own father would make fun of me. Great confidence booster right there. He always compares me to other girls. The other night i went out to dinner with him and he was telling me that i never call him or spend time with him and he then proceeded to compare me to an 8 year old who just loooves her 'daddy' and *she* calls *him*. He tells my mom how these other kids are going to be lawyers in 2 years and they're only 20 years old. 

For years i had to put up with my father telling me i'm an old granny and looking at how i dressed like i was some freak. 

My grandfather didn't think before he told me that i have a huge face or that i must watch what i eat, "you eat too much" he used to tell me. I like to sleep with a light on at night 'cause my room is extremely dark and i like to see my surroundings. "I see the next door neighbours like doing that as well ... i don't know what's wrong with you people". His tone held disgust. Was that really necessary? 

Yeah, i have insecurity issues but i'm pretty sure a lot of that would go away if i can go one day without my brother making fun of that. Rubbing salt in my wounds. Joking about my 'layers' of fat and how weak i am. If it's not one thing it's another. He says he's joking. 

That's not a funny joke. 

When i speak up and tell him to stop that he says 'hogwash' and keeps going. I say one thing wrong or i fight his fire with my fire 'cause some days i can't take his crap anymore he looses his temper and says i make him want to hit me.

Thanks bro.

That means a lot. 

Or when i get home from shopping with my mom and Mark has this great big smile on his face and runs to my mom and tells her how much she's missed. I don't mind that, i think it's sweet but don't a few seconds later in a meek voice tell me i was missed too 'cause i know i'm not. 

Instead i get told that i should've choked longer when i swallowed wrong ... in the name of joking.

I get laughed at when i want to pursue something. Yeah, i'm not the greatest at maths but i don't need to be laughed at when i'm trying my best. I feel great when Mark says i'm intelligent but then that light grows dimmer as i hear my brother laugh and go, "her? Intelligent?".

I'm always the 2nd thought. The one who is the last to be introduced. The one who doesn't get mentioned in phone calls but Sebastian does. 

I guess some people just don't realize that everyday when i wake up and hear these things a part of me dies. 

Sometimes i think i'm unlovable. Am i really that bad ... that ugly ... that unacceptable? 

Will anyone ever love me for who i am? 

I don't know.

I hope so, anyway!

So as you go through your day, watch what you say. Be sensitive to other people's feelings and always think before you speak and think how your words will affect the other person.

HEAL don't HURT

I Don't Want to be a Businesswoman

Backtrack a few hundred years ago and all women did in life was get married at a young age and have lots of children. Then feminism came in and a lot more doors were open to women. They could now choose which path they wanted to be on.

The enemy is the ruler of this earth and so what does he try to do? He comes to kill and destroy. And that also means he tries to get rid of the natural order of life. God made a man and woman to come together in marriage because we complete one another and form the whole image of God. But what has the enemy done? He pushes homosexuality and now it's rampant. Just a few years ago it was seen as an offense but now it's an offense to say that you're against it. God created the woman to be a help meet for her husband but now you see women dropping their kids off at daycare and marriages burning up in flames.
Now, the new trend is not to get married at all. Sure, live together, have children ... but marriage? It's so unnecessary because most marriages end in divorce anyway.

The culture's message to everyone living on this planet is to get a high-end job to make lots of money and to 'make it far in life'. Since that's the man's role in life, to be the provider and to be the one with the good job, women try ever so hard to be like a man in order to be 'worthy'.

But what happened to being a wife and mom? That's somehow seen as a lesser job and not nearly as worthy as being a doctor or a businessman. I don't understand why! I look at my baby brother and i can't imagine giving up a life of being able to be a mom and a wife in the future, and to be surrounded with family to simply waste away by sitting in an office all day making lots of money just so i can pay my bills and have enough money to take a yearly holiday to the beach and to do something fun on the weekends.

I saw my dad the other night. He thinks just like everyone else does in this world and it's hard for me to relate when my dreams for the future will seem 'petty' to him. You're not reaching your full potential and you're wasting your life if you get married young. But that's what i want. I want to get married young 'cause i don't see how it can be a cage. You have the opportunity to spend the rest of your life with your best friend. Why on earth would you pass that up?

I hate the way the culture depicts marriage to be some last resort in life. You're somehow losing your freedom if you get married.

So yeah, it may look like i'm wasting my life by wanting to be a wife and to be a loving, supportive help meet for my future husband. I do want to cook meals for him, i do want to snuggle up on the couch at night while watching a movie with him, i want to serve God together with him ... why would i choose to live life by myself?

I look at 2 people that i know who are the same age but their lives are so different. The one is single, went to a university, she's traveled everywhere and she spends her evening with friends, drinking.
The other woman is married, has several children and spends her day raising and teaching her kids and being a help meet for her husband.

I see the emptiness of life for the one and a full life for the other one and i realize that i want the life of the latter woman.
Occasionally when i'm in the mall i see a young couple, early twenties and they have this newborn baby and i can't help but smile whenever i see that. It's so sweet. I remember this one time when my mom was paying there was a woman at the counter next to us and i couldn't stop staring. She was so beautiful. She was wearing such a pretty outfit with a long skirt and her hair in pretty, natural waves but she had this newborn baby in these cute slings you get nowadays that wraps itself snugly around the mom, but she had this permanent smile on her face and i couldn't stop thinking how happy and beautiful she looked.

How could someone think that taking care of a family is a burden?

So it may seem like i have no ambition in life but i just to be the woman that God made me to be. Not to be a slave to my future husband but to be his help meet. So i pray everyday that God will make me into the woman that he will need. The kind of woman who stands beside him and supports him and pushes him to seek a deeper relationship with YHVH!  And i want him to do the same thing for me.

Because i'm quite happy spending the rest of my life with my best friend in a small, cute home.

Let Go

This song i really needed to hear!

The lyrics are so pertinent to me and i think God is gently nudging me toward the right direction even though it hurts and is so hard .... and yet .... it's so simple.

Let me give you a bit of a background on my life:

Growing up i was relatively happy. When you're young and naive you don't really pay attention to the real world. My days were filled with school and extra activities such as dancing, acting, and music. I was never the girl who had loads of friends. When i was at my lessons i would talk to the girls there but they would never come over to my house. I only had 2 'true' (i use that term lightly now) friends back then.

But when i turned 13 my life changed. Things got more tense at home. My parents were fighting more and my friends grew more distant. When i was 15 my parents got a divorce but during those 2 years of the arguing and the tears I grew more reserved. I was trying to handle this new found faith in God, learning about the Torah and trying to deal with my own father making fun of me at the same time.
I thought something was wrong with me and so i grew this immense self-hatred toward myself. I felt like i was a mistake and shouldn't be here since this time my friends didn't seem to care and so i felt alone.

My mom got remarried when i was 15. She stayed in Alaska for 3 months with Mark, trying to sort things out over there but during those 3 months i was in charge of the house. My dad was also traveling overseas.  He would deposit money into my bank account, just enough to buy food for the weeks. But i had to cook and clean and make sure the house was in order.
For a 15 year old dealing with a lot of emotions that was a lot of work.
But at the same time God was showing me so much in His Word.
In my family on my dad's side when you're 18 you get the Lee signet ring. My brother's very proud of his ring but to me it's just a ring although i was very proud to get it at only 16. I wore my ring the next day in the mall. I went to the bathrooms and as i was walking back to my grandmother i noticed i didn't have my ring on. I panicked and ran all the way back to the bathrooms which was on the other side of the mall. While i was running the verse in Psalm 45 popped into my head. "Forget your father's house". As i got to the stall i saw that my ring was gone.
Yeah ... a God-Thing!

When my mom came back i was such an emotional wreck i didn't know how to cope.
We moved around a lot after that. Staying a few months here, 1 night there etc. During that time i was battling with an addiction that maybe one day in the future i'll have the courage to speak about.

I told my dad goodbye and didn't speak to him for a year.

The house we're staying in now we've been in for over a year and God has really used this time to heal me from my past. I'm in contact with my dad again although we rarely speak. In a year i've seen him twice and yes ... he blames me for that.

But that Psalm 45 verse is still rolling around in my head. I get frustrated that my own biological dad doesn't make more of an effort but then i think .... how can i be angry? God warned me this would happen. And you know what's so amazing about Him? He's made it easy for me to do just that. I haven't had to tell my family members on my dad's side i must "forget" them. I'm pretty sure they've forgotten me.  I can see it two ways.

 1: My family really doesn't care about me and i was a fool to ever think that.
2: God is protecting me from any more emotional pain and so He's causing them to drift away in order to teach me and make me draw closer to Him.

The only thing that really hurts is the letting go part. I'm a sensitive person and grow attached a little to easily to some people. If your words tell me you love me and care about me and for a while it looks like your actions line up ... well, then, i'm a goner. But break that trust i now have in you and you probably won't get it back too easily. I will act all tough but inside i'm still soft and still attached to you and struggling to let go. I now see that in my past i cared more for the opposite person than they did for me. So i gave them my heart and they threw it back.

So this past year i've been praying very specifically. I believe in specific prayer! This year has been a major healing year for me. A preparation year for the life God has in store for me. I asked God to make my 18th year the year where *my* life begins. Not the life that's hitched to some one else's wagon. But that i'll be free for God to use me.

So i believe my life is finally starting. I wrote in one of  my previous posts of me hopefully going to Israel next year. At first i thought it was just me but now i truly believe God wants me to go somewhere. Some place where He can speak to me in a powerful way and where i can take the first step.

On a Shabbat my family and i listen to a teacher; Rico Cortez. He's amazing and actually a descendant of Aaron. A few months ago he spoke of the Rites of Passage. Everyone in the Bible went through it.

I can see how my life has lined up with this and how this past year God has taken me away from everything i've ever known. A place where there have been loads of trials (and there still are major trials). We're at this point where we're trusting God for everything and i mean EVERYTHING! 

13-16 years old: Rites of Separation.

16 -17 years old: Rites of Transition.

And i'm just praying that i will finally be 'incorporated' and ready to do His work in this world now.

I have 2 destinations in my mind right now of where God might want me to travel to. I've been praying about it and i can't help but feel this immense peace when i think of the one destination and a little doubt when i think of the other. There's a little bit of fear for the one and a little bit of 'security' for the other. 

One teaching by Jim Staley, he said that you should always go down the path you're most afraid of. God hasn't given us a spirit of fear and we must be fearless when living for His name. God rarely asks us to walk down the path that offers 'security' and 'comfort'. Rather i find He takes you to the end of your comfort zone ... the place, where naturally, you're most afraid, so that we can learn to not give into fear.

I'm still praying about this and will wait till the end of October - mid November to really make a decision and to walk out in faith.

The theme of my blog is all about being strong and being a warrior for God. My whole life i've been the softy who never speaks and the one who lets people ride all over but God is training my fingers for war and hardening me to difficulties so that i can truly be His warrior. 

Both trips are a bit scary since i'm traveling alone but there's this one i'm most afraid of more ... an end-of-comfort-zone fear and i think ...

 God's asking me to take His hand and walk with Him on those waves and let yesterday burn in the fire ...

and to finally LET GO!

The Deal with Tattoos and Piercings

This topic i have been thinking a lot about lately. So many people dismiss tattoos and piercings simply 'cause other people have told them that it's wrong. I'm not that type of girl. I don't like listening to other peoples opinions about certain matters unless they have proof in the Bible. I don't let them tell me something is wrong when they have absolutely no proof whatsoever that it is wrong. I study the Torah and live by that.

This is what brings me to tattoos and piercings. I'm mainly going to share my opinion on piercings but it seems like piercings and tattoos go hand-in-hand. When i got my nose pierced, my one friend was shocked and asked me, "Promise me you're not going to get a tattoo?"

I will start with tattoos since that's pretty simple and easy. I think they're wrong.

You shall not make any cuts on your body for the dead or tattoo yourselves: I am the LORD. (Leviticus 19:28) 

That pretty much sums it up. Permanent tattoos are wrong. I think Henna is ok since it washes off in about 3 weeks. 

But i see a lot of Christians actually thinking that tattoos are OK. They only follow the NT so that's understandable but whenever i walk past a tattoo parlor in the mall near us i stop and look at some of the pictures. It's crazy how so many people get tattoos of Christ on the cross or Hebrew. I find that really really strange.

But now i'm going to share my opinion on piercings.

I think piercings are alright. In fact, i love some piercings. I don't find anything in the Torah that speaks against piercings. Obviously you don't go crazy and get tongue, lip, cheek or any piercings in crazy spots. We're still the Temple of God but i think earrings and nose rings are ok. 

Nose rings because it's actually spoken of in the Bible. Rebekah got a nose ring when she became betrothed to Isaac. I think it was a tradition back then because some Middle Eastern cultures still practice it. You see the Indian women wearing a huge nose ring with a small chain attaching to their earring on their wedding day. 

 "I inquired of her, 'Whose daughter are you?'...And I put the ring on her nose and the bands on her arm" (Genesis 24:47).

God also talks about nose rings when it comes to adorning Israel:

"I decked you out in finery...I put a ring in your nose, and earrings in your ears..." (Ezekiel 16:11)

And when God speaks of punishing the women He says He will take away their nose jewels:

"In that day the Lord will take away ... The rings and nose jewels." (Isaiah 3:18-21)

Based on all these verses i see absolutely nothing wrong with nose rings. I currently don't have mine anymore because it was irritating me to no end. It kept falling out and snagging when i washed my face. It just really hurt.

I love earrings, though. I'm not a jewelry girl. I hate jewelry. I hate wearing bracelets and necklaces that don't mean something to me. I have a necklace with the Shema on and my ring that has God's name in Hebrew on it. 

My cartilage piercings.

At the moment i have 4 ear piercings and hope to get 3 more in the future. I have my first lobes which most people have. I got those pierced when i was 2 years old. A few months ago i doubled pierced my own ears. I have a high intensity to pain so piercing my own ear didn't hurt at all. I got an infection in my one .... twice so i took them out. But then i got my cartilage double pierced on my right ear. 

Example of a Triple Forward Helix
piercing.

Once my 2nd hole is healed i want to get my left ear forward helix triple pierced. 

I know a lot of people won't understand why i do this and they'll think it's immodest. But i don't see anything wrong with it according to God's Word. A lot of Christians quote the Leviticus verse above ^ but they clearly don't read the full verse. It says "FOR THE DEAD". 

Shiite Muslims actually self-mutilate themselves on the anniversary of Mohammed's grandson's death. Here's a link if you want to know more. Warning: Graphic images  Click Here

What these Muslims do is just plain demonic and this is what God was commanding us NOT to do. We should not honour the dead in any way. 

But as far as i can see, God does not speak against a jewel in an ear.

Comments?

Celebrity Culture's Influence

Apparently Rihanna has just landed in South Africa. I cannot express how much i hate it when these weird celebrities decide to come to my neck of the woods. Lately i've noticed more and more celebrities heading out here to SA. The first movie i remember was Safe House staring Denzel Washington and Ryan Reynolds. I watched that movie purely because it was filmed here. Then other bands came here like Metallica etc. Justin Bieber also came here and the huge frenzy over that was ... crazy. Future Mrs. Bieber t-shirts were everywhere and then of course the horrible Lady Gaga. I've also heard that Taylor Swift is heading here to film a movie in Cape Town.

I guess i tend to follow a few celebrities. When i was younger i occasionally watched the Disney Channel. Hannah Montana, Wizards of Waverly Place etc. Now, i'm not the type of girl who was obsessed with celebrities. I never had Hannah Montana albums or posters or clothes. My mom never let me get like that and i thank God for that. The only things that i was obsessed with was High School Musical and Barbie (when she was a princess). I never understood celebrity worship. I never understood why people start freaking out when Taylor Swift touched their hand or with any other celebrity. I actually think it's pretty pathetic. 

But i've noticed that when celebrities first come on the scene they seem all wholesome and moral but then a few years later they turn freaky. I liked some celebrities from my Disney Channels and i tend to check out any new movies from them or new songs. Especially now. 

The thing with the Disney Channel is that it's relatively modest and clean. No weird stuff going on although i think it's not the best thing for young teens to be watching 'cause .... well, it makes you stupid. The humor is lame and the lessons it teaches you are just typical teenage stuff where the most important thing is being popular. 

Which brings me to the topic of some of those stars. Disney Channel is mainly for young teens, when you're 18+ you move on to more 'grown up' work. I've found now as i check out some of these celebrities how being sexy and sensual is all part of being 'grown up'. Just check out Miley Cyrus and Selena Gomez and how hard they try to rid themselves of their innocent Disney Channel image. I won't go into details but i'm truly shocked ... i'm not exactly sure why. Maybe it's 'cause when these young stars where younger they boasted about wearing Purity Rings and talking about abstaining till marriage. Of course when they turned 19 all those things were tossed to the side. Miley Cyrus seems to be having fun wearing practically nothing and having this weird obsession with her tongue sticking out and ....twerking? And Selena Gomez trying ever so hard to pull off the sultry, 'party goer' look. 

When i was 14 and was a bit insecure on how to dress i actually Googled that (i know ... weird) and i saw a few articles of people angry at the way Dakota Fanning dressed when she was 14. She wore a lot of mini shorts and heels to special events. Now search for Bella Thorne. She's 15 now and she wears the exact same things if not worse and everyone now comments on how 'cute' she looks. Have we degraded that much in a four year time span?   

15 year old Disney Channel
Actress Bella Thorne.  

I shouldn't be surprised. This is what happens in that culture. But the sad thing is is that these young girls are influencing so many other little girls (age 7+). What's the deal with this culture and media? Why do they try and strip girls of every piece of innocence and to tell them they have to act like 21 year olds? 

When i was younger my mom never let my brother and i watch TV so i didn't feel any pressure to be a certain way. I was pretty happy wearing my brothers hand-me-downs and climbing trees in the backyard. But now i see 13 year olds in the mall wearing high wasted mini shorts and shear tank tops exposing their underwear which has to be neon yellow just to let everyone know to look there. I'm sad when i see these girls because no one teaches them about femininity or purity. Their parents who should be the ones protecting them from this crap are just going with the flow. 

There's aren't any morals anymore. No modesty. The Bible says that nakedness is a shame. Heck, the priests couldn't even walk up a ramp to offer sacrifices because the men also wore 'dress-like' garments back then.

But nowadays the more you show the better. Magazine covers don't even hide it anymore. The human body is supposedly 'art' and should be shown to everyone. There's a lot of controversy regarding modesty. A lot of feminists just think it's just another way to prove that the patriarchy rules. The female body shouldn't be hidden. Why is it deemed appropriate for a male to walk topless but not a women? It's these sorts of arguments that make women stand up and say no to modest dress. But of course they then wonder why they get harassed by men or get crude comments about the way they look. 

In other words these women want to wear their underwear outside and still be treated like a lady and with respect. When i see things like this i say my new favourite line, "You are the reason we need instructions on shampoo."

It's these same women who say that when they say no, they mean no. They obviously don't understand the way men's minds work. If you're dressing like a prostitute then yeah, you're going to be treated like one.

It's like this new parade happening in SA called a Slut Parade. It's where women parade around in as little as possible saying no to rape.

..........

Can you honestly be so stupid?

But they just don't understand that modesty isn't only for guys.

Heck no. I don't only dress modestly because of guys, i dress modestly to respect myself. Why on earth would i want everyone who crosses my path to know exactly what i look like? Why do i want the world to know what my thighs look like? I DO NOT!!!! When i dress modestly i want the world to see that i have depth to my personality. That i'm not some easy target that they can just pick up and leave in the corner. I want them to see that i respect myself and that i'm more than what my body looks like. I'm more. I have dignity and virtue.

So dress the way you want to be treated. Don't follow celebrity fashion or look up to anyone in that industry. Look to God. One way that i test myself in the way i'm dressing is:

 "Would i feel comfortable walking into the Temple dressed the way i am now?". 

The Quest for Beauty

The other night it really hit me. It hit me how far women will go for their own vanity.

It all started with extensions. A few months ago my mom cut her hair to her shoulders. Her hair was really damaged and her split ends looked like candy floss so i helped her cut it off.

But of course when you have long hair and you cut it so short you seem to grow some sort of sentimentalism toward your lost hair. Most women can't wait months and months on end for your hair to grow back so one day i thought of extensions. I told my mom and the next day we went shopping. Came back home and Evelyn sewed them to my mom's hair. Naturally you try and go for 100% human hair else the extensions only last a few weeks. Human hair lasts a lot longer.

The other night my mom and i were talking about how natural the extensions look and then we both had a thought. Where on earth do these extensions come from? It's human hair so it came from somebody else. That was a freaky yet simple thought to have. It's 100% human hair, it's pretty obvious it came from some one else.

So that sparked an interest in my mom and she started Googling. Later that night she came to my room all wide eyed and shocked. She told me that most hair extensions come from India after the Indian women shave their heads as a thanksgiving offering to their 'god'. I was shocked. But after reading a few articles it really hit me how far women go to look beautiful.

Plastic surgery, cosmetics, fashion, hair, face creams, the list can go on.

Even Lipo suction and all these studies to try and see how to lose weight the fastest way in the shortest amount of time.

Why? For what reason? In the long run is it really that important? Will you one day stand before God and all you can say is that you've maintained your weight and were able to fit into a size 6 (UK)? You were able to look 30 at 60 years old?

Really?

Of course the culture distracts us. The enemy tries to pull our attention away from God and since it's our desire as women to want to look beautiful, we're easy prey. But who are we trying to look pretty for? So many women spend their day fretting over how they look and their husbands keep saying they look gorgeous. If their husbands think they're beautiful then why are so many women still fretting, thinking they're not pretty?

I fret. I admit it. I don't know how many times in a day i ask my mom if i look fat or if my face is ugly. But when i read articles like the one on hair extensions i realize how petty and stupid this quest for perfection and beauty really is. I don't want to spend my days worrying about how i look or if i look fat in this pair of jeans. When you walk in the mall do you notice the women who don't look like super models? No. Do you look at disgust at the ones who don't have perfectly toned bodies? No. So do you think people honestly look at you like that? Chances are they seriously don't care. It's this media and pop culture that puts this pressure on women.

But it's not even women, it affects men too. In advertisements you only see men with perfect 6 packs. Honestly ... how many men on this planet have a 6 pack? About as many as women have perfectly flat stomachs and not a flab anywhere.

We need to focus on things that are truly important. Live a healthy lifestyle but healthy doesn't always mean skinny. You get skinny people who can eat whatever they want all day long and they don't pick up weight. And then you can get ones that are a bit heavier but they eat their fruits and veggies and exercise everyday.

Try not to fret over the little things. Spend time with God and set your eyes on what's truly important in the grand scheme of things.