Friday, December 5, 2014

A Girl in the Mall

She walks past.
I'm talking to my mom and don't notice her at first until I "sense" her looking at me.
I look back.
She smiles.
"I love your hair" she whispers.
"Thanks" I respond with a big smile.

I notice her appearance too.
Sort of gothic yet feminine. She pulled it off quite well without looking like a freak.
She walks into the shop ahead of me and I see her joined by an older couple. Parents? Grandparents?

I tend to be very observant and notice things that a lot of people don't.

There's a vibe about her.
You can sense it by the way she dresses.
Physical appearance is a glimpse into someone's personality.
Something familiar I sense about her. Very weird.

I notice she has a tattoo on her upper forearm.
Big, cursive letters.
"Life" it says.
She crouches down and peaks into the window of a small doll house.
I walk past her and take another look at her tattoo.
"Really pretty but wait ... what is that?"
Just a bit lower than her tattoo I notice something else ... something etched in her skin that's definitely not a tattoo.
It's white.
It's scars.
Not just any scars.
Scars that are too straight, too lined up with one another, too unnatural.

Self harm.

I noticed the signs. I got her vibe. I know it too well.

I kept looking for her in that store. Trying to catch another glimpse. Trying to bump into her to talk to her. Mom encouraged me to do so.

I finally got up the courage and walked up to her and asked about her tattoo. She showed it to me, strategically hiding her lower arm behind a packet of muffins.

Clear signs.
Those scars were put there for a purpose, a reason.
That was no accident.

While i walked away i felt sadness. Who is she? What is her story? What made her feel so depressed and hurt that she would take a knife to her own flesh to numb the pain?

But most importantly:
Has she chosen life? She clearly wants to be reminded daily to choose it.

She has such a bright smile and beautiful eyes. Her scars looked healed. Maybe she's already far on the road to recovery. I hope so. I sometimes think of her. Wondering how she's doing. Praying for her.

I hope she's victorious everyday in choosing in LIFE!!!

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