God usually takes you on a roller coaster ride that you did not foresee ... or want but later on you realize that that was the best thing to happen to you 'cause you've grown as a person and God has taught you some pretty valuable lessons.
I won't go into my story right now ... maybe later on but right now i'm going to share with you the lessons i've learnt from this hard hard time.
1: When people get squeezed their true nature comes out.
During this time a lot of people around us have been squeezed and pushed to the very limit and it's interesting to see the different reactions from different people. Is it weakness? Or strength? Do you start blaming other people, making them feel lesser as a person? Or do you, even though it's tough, show kindness to other people and encourage them that all's going to be ok? Does bitterness or love pour out of you? Do you draw closer to God and see this as part of His plan? Or do you grow hard and start resenting Him?
I've been the witness of seeing some people during this time spew out bitterness and hate and other people pouring out love and kindness. It's amazing.
You need to make sure that even though you get pushed to the point where you feel you can't carry on, you grow from your experiences and when you come out the other side, you're a better, stronger person.
2: Idolizing the Jews is a dead end street.
I know a lot of people when they start following the Torah tend to look up at the Jews a little too much. Of course you'll admire them a little but when you become obsessed with wanting to be just like them and then later on convert to Judaism, you know you've gone too far. God really opened my eyes to this 'cause i was starting to get depressed because i thought the Jews were more special than me and had some sort of special connection to God but it's not true. They have the foundation, the Torah but even with that they've added so many fences that following the Torah no longer becomes a way for you to draw closer to YHVH but just a set of rules and laws that you do simply because you're born Jewish. When Yeshua is out of the picture a lot of things change. I read the Rabbi's Daughter and that opened my eyes to Chasidic Judaism.
*NOTE: The Rabbi's Daughter is a very graphic book so please take care if you are interested in reading it.
3: Will you trust God no matter what?
Even when it looks like He's abandoned you? Will you still hold onto Him and never let go?
YES! Don't let anything separate you from God.
4: No matter what always remember who you are and who God wants you to be.
A lot of people will judge you if you're different. If you go against the mould. If you think for yourself. If you question things. They'll judge your relationship with God, they'll look down on you. You just have to ignore those people, study the Word of God and see the difference between what's written in there and what's other people's opinions. Know who God made you to be and stick with that.
5: Not everyone sees you the way you see yourself.
I've struggled with major self-worth/self-confidence issues in my life. I'm a very quiet, introverted person and other people never fail to remind me of that fact. It gets really irritating because i hear it all the time. So in my mind i feel like people get irritated with me 'cause i'm not like my older brother who's very charismatic and extroverted. So whenever i meet people i keep my distance 'cause i don't need another person to tell me that i'm shy and quiet. But the other day my mom went to the hairdresser for a free blow and cut. The woman who always does my mom's hair is a good acquaintance of ours. We've gotten together a few times. Of course i wasn't actively a part of our get together's, I always sit and listen and observe always thinking that no one thinks anything of me. But when my mom was at the hairdresser and i was stuck at home with my allergies flaring up the hairdresser told my mom of how, even though i'm quiet, i strike her as some one who's strong, quietly strong. She says my quietness is strength.
That took me by surprise and made me realize that other people see me differently than the way i view myself.
6: Don't plan too far into the future.
Take one day at a time. Since i'm going to be 19 soon i thought that i will have to start making plans for my future. Obviously getting married and starting a family is at the top of my list but only God knows when that will happen and i can't sit around waiting for that day for years. I have to start doing something with my life. So a lot of things were running through my mind of what i could possibly do or study. The 2 things that i was leaning towards were going to tie me down for 3-4 years. I was all excited at first but then after a while i started feeling very uneasy and nervous about tying myself down like that for 4 years since my life hasn't exactly been very stable.
So i'm just going to have to continue praying about this and if God really wants me to do this specific thing then He's going to have to tell me loud and clear but my plans aren't always His plans. It's God's will that will ultimately prevail if you truly follow Him.
7: Brave men don't panic in the face of danger.
A quote from a book i was reading. When things start turning too fast, don't panic, be brave.
8: Always remember God's promises.
And then just a really frivolous one -
9: Learn now, for *the* final time, to not eat things that you are allergic to.
I'm lactose intolerant. I can eat butter but other dairy products if i eat too much of it my nose gets blocked and if i carry on eating dairy products things get worse. But now my body has told me that it now doesn't like the best mayo in the world, Hellmans. I just woke up yesterday feeling cold all over, i had sore throat, a massive headache and whenever i stood up i felt nauseous and faint. Who knew mayo could do this? But i took some allergy medication that a friend gave me, little did i know that it would knock me out till the next morning. I never take strong medication so my body obviously just KOed. But i woke up this morning feeling a lot better except for my neck muscles being in utter pain right now that i can't turn my head properly.
*sigh*. I never learn. But c'mon, dairy is awesome. Yoghurt, cheese, milk ... it's hard to say no to all of that good stuff.
I love your blog. You're such a good writer. I can really relate. Especially the whole quiet part. It reminds me of proverbs
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