Eowyn

Today I just finished watching Lord of the Rings. It's the second time that I've seen it but it's been several years since I've last seen it that I've pretty much forgotten the details minus the fact that there's a ring involved and it has to be destroyed. I have to say though that the 3rd DVD in the series has got to be my favourite. The character Eowyn really struck a chord for me and i loved watching her as she transformed from a maiden into a warrior fighting against Orcs and saving her father.

 Being a warrior or soldier to a lot of people is seen as only a mans role and that it's no place for women when it comes to battle but I disagree. Women are strong and though they may not be as strong as men (and there are roles that are strictly men's) that's no reason to discourage them to not have a passion for fighting against the bad guys.

My dream and passion in my heart is to one day join the IDF. Not right now obviously as it is a secular army but maybe one day if this is really of God my dream might come true. I cannot describe the feeling i get when i see anything remotely army related and sometimes i have no idea why and it confuses me. I've prayed for 4 years (I was around 15 when this desire started growing) that if this really isn't God's plan for me then He would take this desire away and plant something else in my heart that He has planned for me. But every year it gets stronger so i just have to wait and keep praying about this.

But of course, being a warrior isn't only about physically donning a gun and fighting against the bad guys. It first starts inside. With honour, integrity, and strength on a deep emotional, mental and spiritual level. It's first fighting for the right things in your life right now and protecting the vulnerable, being a voice for the voiceless, being the strength for the weak, giving food to the hungry, clothes to the naked and giving homes to the homeless. Whenever you see a hero in a movie you always see these traits as being the most important and that's where it all starts.

And maybe one day, like with Eowyn, when the world is at war i will be called to wear a green uniform and fight for God's country. Anything is possible!

Restoration

Things have taken a wonderful turn lately in my life. Really, i don't even know where to begin to describe the wonderful twist my life has taken. Just as I was thinking that life will be a perpetual winter where hardship and sadness are dominant, God has begun to slowly restore everything that we've lost. I don't want to spill everything on here because way too many people have looked at our situation and have judged us and seen it as either God punishing us for going back 'under the curse' of the Torah or it's just purely because of our own stupidity. They don't see that maybe this season of hardship has been so that God can test our hearts, teach us about His covenant and the weightier matters of Torah, and to refine who we are as human beings. Everyone in the Bible has been through hard times. Really hard times. It's the only way that character is built. I think some people think that once you're a Christian, Yeshua is just your free ticket to a smooth sailing life. Well, from my experience, before the good times come you have to go through some pretty damn hard times first. Perfect example of this is in the movie called the Ultimate Gift. I kind of see my life so far like that. God sending me different situations to test my strength and courage and to change my perspective on life and what's truly important in the long run.
It's been 3 years of hardships. Just one thing after another. It gets exhausting, trust me. When you go through 3 years of no income, family fighting, and times of incredible stress you wonder if good times will ever come. But through these past few years God has faithfully been whispering encouraging words to us be it through other people, dreams or through the Torah portion each week. He kept telling us that He's with us, that' He's going to provide a river in the desert, and that this is all part of His plans for us. When you're in the midst of trials it's easy to give up and think that God has abandoned you 'cause when God stretches you, He doesn't do it gently and because He's a good God, His methods and reasons for doing something invades every area of your selfish lifestyle. We are selfish. We want a selfish life and that's the opposite of what God wants for us. So a lot of the time we can stamp our feet and cry because we don't like what He's doing. And since that our initial reaction He works on that. Ever heard that when you get squeezed your true self comes out? Yeah, and it can get ugly.
 God says that He will refine us like gold is refined so i decided to Google how exactly gold is refined. It gets heated to a very hot temperature until all impurities are removed ..... damn.
So i guess that's what has been happening to me and my family: heated to a very hot temperature until all impurities are removed.

Currently we all are bunking with my grandmother in her tiny little flat. Some of us are on the couch and some of us are on the floor. Lets just say that with some other problems, the living conditions are less than glamorous. But when you've been homeless twice you start to fully understand why God stresses the fact that we need to care for the needy. When everything's safe and peachy in your life the natural human instinct is to care all about you and to detach yourself from other people's problems, so God sometimes takes drastic measures and strips you of everything and puts you in their shoes that then you can finally understand why it is so important.

We have no job, home or car of our own ... until recently. The number 3 in the Bible is the number of completion. Yeshua in the tomb for 3 days, Jonah in the whale for 3 days, Joseph in prison for 3 years etc.. Mark stopped flying on the 2nd of October 2011, and now God has provided a job for Mark in Botswana which he starts on the 1st of October 2014. Exactly 3 years apart. Mark jokes that overnight he has become second in command ... in an airplane, lol.

About a year ago we sold our car 'cause we needed the money. My perpetually grumpy grandfather has been driving us around which can really bring a person down because of the constant complaining and disrespect. But joy of joys on Friday God provided for us our very own car!!! I was so amazed and so ecstatic especially how it all came about. We can so easily take for granted a simple car when we've had one for our whole life but when it gets stripped away from you, you realize what a true blessing a simple car can be. Yes, God has stripped away but just like Job, God stripped everything away to test his heart but then at the end God restored everything plus more. I truly believe that just like the physical winter is over so is our spiritual winter. Our car used to be a rusty old Toyota Taz but God has given us a Mercedes-Benz C280. It's not a very modern car but it has a nice interior and a radio along with air-con which is a huge help in the African summer. The winter season is a hard season but at the same time winter is essential because it destroys all the germs that would increase if life was a perpetual summer.

God is restoring and I feel like some life has been breathed into me that has given me strength to keep conquering the battles that we still have to face. But it looks like good times are on the horizon.

BARUCH HASHEM!!!!

When i sat in that car i felt like i was on top of the world. I couldn't stop smiling and thanking God. With the sun shining, the radio turned up and some white rum later to celebrate, life felt gooooood!

Shopping/Wish List Part 4/7: Get Inked

I know that there are a lot of views out there on tattoos, whether they're right or wrong. Believe me, i've done my studying and research and yes, i've prayed about it. You can check out my post Judging on a brief overview of my views on tattoos. To put it short here, tattoos aren't a weighty matter of Torah. The weightier matters of Torah are all about helping the needy and treating your fellow man with respect and love. Me having some ink on my arms doesn't change my heart towards God or His Torah, or my desire to practice righteousness and justice.

I'm not going to explain myself too much here. If you have questions then you can e-mail me or message me on Facebook. Too many times in the past i've felt like i've needed to explain myself to people when i was doing something different or 'bad' in their eyes, i'm not doing that anymore.

I want a tattoo and i'm getting a tattoo. If you don't like that that's fine, each to his own. You have your opinions and i have mine and people's opinions about myself don't bug me as much as they used to. Believe me, i still question myself everyday on this season of discovery in my life where i'm questioning the things i've been told and discovering who i am after many years of trying to be like someone else.

I just happen to be the kind of girl that likes colour, dreadlocks, piercings and tattoos. But just because i think that piercings and tattoos are OK does not mean that going and covering yourself in metal and ink is alright. We represent God and things have to be done tastefully.

Moving on to what i plan on getting ... I'm probably only going to get my first tattoo on my 19th birthday in 2 months time. At this point i'm only planning on getting 3 and that's probably it. 99.9% sure that that's it. Maybe later, one day, my mom will be adventurous with me and we can get mother-daughter tattoos, or maybe when i get married one day i will get something done on my ring finger. But those are only thoughts and dreams right now.

The 3 that i want right now will all be on my left forearm. I don't want anything on my right arm for personal reasons.

I'm planning on getting some henna/bohemian flower design on my left wrist. Not for any meaning, just because i love the look.

A design like this 

The more intricate ones. My favourite right now is the one on the bottom right corner and the top middle one. But there's lots of different designs out there so i have to choose wisely. I love the look of the mandala but i think it has some eastern pagan meaning so that's a huge no go.

I also like how this looks but it's a bit too vintage for me. I like more henna looking designs.

At the bottom of the flower i'd like this Hebrew word tattooed, but nice and small, not this big.

The word is Chesed and it has such a beautiful meaning to it. The word means a lot to me as a few weeks ago God was teaching me a lot of lessons that tie up with this word.

I wouldn't have the vowels tattooed.

The next one was inspired a bit by the photographer, Rania Maria. I found her when i was researching dreads. I loved how she tattooed a quote on her arm that goes all the way around so that it looks like a bracelet.

The scripture verse in Joshua "Be strong and courageous" means a lot to me too. Eric Ludy calls it the ancient war cry. In Hebrew it's Chazak V'Ematz. I wanted the Hebrew tattooed on me but when i tested out the bracelet look (with the verse in English) i liked it a lot more and i can have more of that verse tattooed on me, like: "Be Strong and Courageous, Fear Not, For Adonai Is With You". I know that that's not the full verse but it's all that can fit on my arm.

Another example.

I know that maybe you guys can't picture all of this together but i have the image in my mind but it'll probably change as it's changed a lot the past few months. It's permanently being put on my body so i have to make sure it's perfect.

Shopping/Wish List Part 3/7: Different Jewelry

Some of you may know that i don't shy away from piercings (don't go crazy now). I only have double lobe piercing and a nose piercing. I used to have double cartilage and an eyebrow piercing but the former got infected when i stupidly put in a fake earring (i have sensitive ears) and the latter started getting rejected, which i knew would happen, but i enjoyed having it while i did. 

Later i'd like to get 2 more lobe piercings. I saw this picture and i really like the look. 

The first hole is stretched. I will never ever ever ever (like, ever) stretch my ear, that's going too far for me but i like the look of it so i was happy when i saw fake stretched ear piercings the other day at a store. It looks stretched but it's actually not.

I currently have a stud in my nose piercing but i really want to change it to a hoop. I'm just extremely nervous to do it. I'll wait for my allergies to die down and then take a deep breath and change it ... uuuuuh.

6 Months of Dreads

These are my dreads at 6 months. I'm still loving them although they're still lumpy.

Just to let everyone know i'm posting more frivolous things lately just because my mind is not in the right place to really write more on the theme of my blog. Being a warrior and all that. I'm just feeling very tired mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. But i will get back on my feet hopefully soon. I'll have exciting news to share soon.

Oh yeah, i also dyed my hair a deep purple a month ago.

My camera doesn't really pick it up but, oh well.

Shopping/Wish List Part 2/7: Fun Jewelry

I love jewelry so much, they spice up any outfit and it's fun to mix and match.

This summer i'm loving ankle bracelets and will be wearing more of them this year.

These are a new thing that i found thanks to Pinterest. They're called Barefoot Sandals. In summer i love walking barefoot, it kinda seems strange to wear shoes in the summer.

I love that you can even wear these with shoes. You can just slip your shoes on and off but the jewels stay on. It's really awesome in my opinion.

I also want to try toe rings.

Can't forget the bracelets.

This i actually found on the Factorie website and i also found it in the actual store. I really like it.

(The head chain)

Upper arm .... bracelet? Haven't found these in a store yet but will keep my eyes open for them.

And then, of course, earrings.

Shopping/Wish List Part 1/7: Boho Clothes

Today i did a bit of window shopping. Summer is upon us (at least in the southern hemisphere) and i'm super excited to one day go shopping for fun, bohemian clothes. The awesome thing about bohemian style clothing is that it's really easy to find modest items as 'bohemian' is all about flowy fabrics. My favourite stores are Cotton On and Factorie which i think are both Australian but boy, am i super happy that they're here in South Africa. They are a bit pricey but i'd rather buy a few really good items there than pay the same amount somewhere cheap and buy crappy clothing. Here in SA we don't have awesome thrift stores so when you shop cheap, most of the time you look cheap. 

These are some of the items i found today. Not everything i saw today was on the online store and not everything on the online store was in the actual store which i was upset about 'cause i saw some pretty awesome things online. And they also don't have all their summer stock.

COTTON ON:

Tops

This jacket's fabric is so amazingly soft.

I know that this is actually a 'dress' but i wear this as a top over jeans, flowy pants or a skirt.

What i love about Cotton On's tank tops is that, to me, it's not immodest. The neckline is nice and high (most of the time anyway) and the sleeves are thick, not spaghetti strapped.

I have this thing for animals on tops. I think it looks so amazing and awesome.

Love flowy cardigans.

Bottoms

Another wonderful thing about Cotton On is that their jean's are very soft and so very comfortable.

These are very soft.

Pretty shoes.

I went on the Factorie website. It was quite confusing and i couldn't find anything that i saw in the actual store but it's pretty similar to Cotton On. Bohemian with soft fabrics. They also have awesome rucksacks with pretty bohemian patterns. This was the only one i could find online but they have more and prettier ones. 

So that's my summer wish list.

I'm also planning on going to a place called the Oriental Plaza where they sell Indian style clothing that's really cheap (you find the odd gem) and there you can find proper harem pants.